(2022) Julia, Julia - Derealization



Review:
Julia Kugel-Montoya of the indie rock band The Coathangers has recently released her debut solo album Derealization under the stage name Julia, Julia. Derealization is a stark departure from the commercialized melodies and pop instrumentation featured on The Coathangers’ latest project from 2019, The Devil You Know. Kugel-Montoya touts her new creative freedom with a haunting ‘alternative-folk’ sound. The title track “I Want You” is beautiful, and made mysterious through her lyrics and wistful vocals. Her feelings towards the ‘you’ she sings of are ambiguous, and fluctuate between desire and distaste. She sings “I want you to throw yourself in the fire,” but she also plainly sings “I want you, I want you.” The track feels very dreamlike, and the lyrics at the end of the song repeat over and over as she asks the listener “Do you feel it? ‘cause I feel it.” “Fever In My Heart” is the fourth track on the album. It begins with a beat that almost sounds like a heartbeat, an arpeggiated piano riff, and a soft shaker. The lyrics of the song feel like a love song, “I can’t help, I adore you / I’ll wait for you.” However, the vocal performance makes it feel as though she is the victim of unrequited love. Later in the song, there is a cacophony of lines that play over each other that ask “Am I somebody else?” and “Am I losing myself?” The artist does a wonderful job of showing the painful side of loving someone, especially when the love is not reciprocated. The sixth track, “Do It Or Don’t,” shows the artist at her lowest: in abject apathy, unmoved and unfazed by even love. Kugel-Montoya’s delicate voice is full of despair as she states “My vacant smile is my protection / From your affection.” In her defeat, she admits “The lesson is there is no lesson,” making her pain feel pointless, like there was nothing – not even a lesson to gain from it. In one of the deepest lines on the album, she sings “Do it or don’t / I’m right here if you want / I’m right here if you want.” The song feels very detached, almost like an out-of-body experience. “Paper Cutout” features some of the boldest and most experimental sounds the album has to offer. The intro includes jazz-like vocalizations from the artist, percussive sounds, and a metered animal call sound that makes the listener feel like we are in the depths of a dark jungle. This unsettling instrumentation continues under the lyrics “I’m a paper cutout / I’m a wooden pole.” The sounds ebb and flow, smoothly stirring under the singer’s voice. Whispers start playing at the end of the track, they are soft and mostly unintelligible, but the last line is as crisp and clear as it is poetic- “I will be the arctic wind.” The final track on the record, “Corner Town,” paints a haunting picture of being in an abandoned town. The instrumentation in the song includes little bells, as well as a continuous ‘brushing’ sound that sounds like someone harshly sweeping a floor. All of this is being played under a simple but dark guitar riff that plays throughout the song. Kugel-Montoya’s vocals are as eerie as ever, as she sings “All the cars are empty / And the houses are empty too / And there’s nobody in / In this little town / But me and you / Such a handsome two.” As she repeats this the last time, it is immediately followed by the ominous sounds of the ‘brushing’, the guitar, and the bells. The album is called ‘Derealization’ for a reason. Kugel-Montoya does a superb job of capturing the feeling of being detached from reality. Every track on the record is brutally removed from any sort of happy feeling. The instrumentation adds to this effect, usually making the songs feel more distorted, tense, or uncomfortable. Whether the album is commentary on the pain of loving someone too much, or if it is an illustration of mental health struggles, it nonetheless contains a handful of hauntingly beautiful songs. The album is a very impressive being that it’s a debut project. This record is undoubtedly one of the most innovative alternative albums of this year, and is definitely worth a listen. — mxdwn.com




Track List:
01 - I Want You
02 - Forgive Me
03 - Impromptu
04 - Fever in My Heart
05 - Words Don’t Mean Much
06 - Do It or Don’t
07 - No Hard Feelings
08 - Big Talkin’
09 - Paper Cutout
10 - Where Did You Go
11 - Corner Town


Media Report:
Genre: dream-pop
Country: Long Beach, California, USA
Format: FLAC
Format/Info: Free Lossless Audio Codec
Bit rate mode: Variable
Channel(s): 2 channels
Sampling rate: 44.1 KHz
Bit depth: 16 bits
Compression mode: Lossless
Writing library: libFLAC 1.2.1 (UTC 2007-09-17)


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